Remembering Nightmares
by ThePandaNinja8
Summary: What would you do if you were a depressed 15 year old that just woke up in a hospital knowing nobody and nothing? Well then congratulations you just stepped in Maka Albarn's world. SoMa and a bit of TsuStar. AU rated T for language and mild descriptions.Possible triggers.
1. who am I again?

**Okay so this is my first published fanfic! So review and dont be so harsh if its bad? Anywho enjoy!\\(^-^)/**

_'No Maka please! Don't do this, i'm sorry!'One step. Two steps. Flying._

_Fading screams. Complete darkness._

_Beep...beep...beep..._

The pain is horrible. Her head was pounding so hard she swore it was going to burst. Attempting to peel her eyelids open was complete hell. Was this a cruel joke of glueing her eyelids shut? That or she had one heck of a nap.

And what in God's name was beeping so much that she couldn't get to shut up?

Sitting straight up with a strangled gasp was a horrible mistake. For starters there was much more beeping. But she also had a horrible pain, all over. Her ribs and left leg and head hurt the most. Looking down at her body was quite the shocking sight to anyone who just woke up confused. Bruises. Everywhere. The polkadotted her arms as if she were a clown then came the sight and horrible feel of itchy white blankets. Looking down at her torso was no better, she was by then seriously considering not checking herself out. A white gown was loosely tied around the back of her neck that spilled very unneatly down her small but perky chest and went under the safety of the blankets. She sighed.

At this point she realized she was _not_ in any familiar place. Pale eggshell white walls that only had one window that let warm sunshine pour into the room giving the room a warm, smiley feeling. Well it would be a good feeling if there wasn't a medicine cabinet filled to the door with drugs of all sorts. And the cords and needles did not help with the discomfort. The bedside table to left had a glass of water with more multicolored pills too.

_What's with all the drugs?_

The door flew open suddenly making the small but_unknowingly broken_ girl jump about a foot into the air. A curvy, busty blonde quickly shuffled in and shut the door behind her before leaning against it and letting a huff of air. The blondes eyes laid right on her. That was the moment the bed-bound girl took a chance to take in the appearance of the new intruder. Bright blonde hair that reached a couple inches below her shoulder brushed straight with ever so slight waves. A blue eye and a green eye. The sky blue on the most perfect day, the Caribbean island waters blue. The green of rolling hills in the wind, yet almost electric. A Gorgeous tan any girl would have been wishing they had coated her skin.A bright burst of blue dotted with white fluffy clouds that was a seat for rainbow unicorns as a shirt. White pants. Huh, strange combo...

The lady who was unconsciously clutching a clipboard with one hell of a death grip slowly loosened her grip and blinked slowly slightly slouched letting out an exasperated sigh. She slowly approached Maka with the cautiousness as if the kid was a wild animal. She slowly took a seat to the right of occupied bed.

"Sorry if i'm freaking you out a bit I've had a pretty rough day today." The new lady gave a small smile.

Maka returned the smile.

She clicked the pen scribbling something onto the paper on the clipboard.

"Okay, so what do you last remember and how do you feel?" She looked up curiously at the patient in the bed.

"Well I feel like shit and umm..." she tried to think. Nothing. Not a thought in the brain. "I don't remember anything right now to be honest." She finished in a small voice.

The nurse looked up with a sympathetic look on her face . She simply sighed.

"I knew this would happen." She said sadly pulling out a folder from the bedside table drawer.

"Let me start from the beginning." She started simply." My name is Maddi. Your name is Maka Albarn your 15 as of May 26th. You have only been admitted into the hospital 4 times in your entire life. You Have attempted suicide 8 times already this is your 9th."

**Dunh dunh duhh! Okay! So this is my first published fanfic I do write but I just dont publish alot so this is kind of a first^-^ I got the idea from the song Bullet by Hollywood Undead. Soo please review on how this is! More reveiws= faster updates! Thankyou for reading!**


	2. why me?

_When you were young you thought you'd never die_

_Found out you could but too scared to try_

_Looked in the mirror and said goodbye_

_Climbed to the roof to see if you could fly._

She blinked slowly. Once. Twice. Three times.

"Excuse me?"

Maddi sighed "honey, you jumped off of an 8 story building and fell pretty hard but you only fell 3 stories. You got caught on a window ledge on the way down."

Maka stared. Was this lady crazy?

Maddi smiled "of course the owner of that ledge almost had a heart attack seeing you there." She looked distant almost smiling as if it was some kind of good memory.

"I'm sorry, that's not funny" she cleared her throat.

"You broke three ribs fractured your left leg and had a serious concussion on the way down. Luck seemed to be on your side that day because it could have been so much worse. Actually that day was um.." Maddi trailed off looking down

She jerked her head up " that day was a month ago!" Maddi didn't mean for the words to pour out that fast.

Maka continued to stare

"So, umm.." Maka started quietly at completely at loss for words. Was this some kind of sick joke?

"I jumped off a building... 9 times?"

"No sweetie, you uh-lets see here..." Maddi's attention quickly shifted her attention to the folder and clipboard in her lap.

"The first time you tried you tried to slit your throat but we seem to have a report that your father walked in on you before you could get the razor all the way across your little neck."

"And um where is this 'father' of mine now?"

"He disappeared the day you jumped. Left work without a notice. Nothing. Not even a note."

"Well that's convenient." Maka sighed.

"That's what I said. But you 3rd and 7th attempt was like your first. You also reports of jumping in front of moving vehicles, strangling yourself and drug overdose." She looked sadly at the young girl on the bed.

"Do I have a mother?"

"She died three years ago."

"Oh."

Maka looked up, "is there anything else you can tell me about myself?"

The nurse sighed." Well as you know your name is Maka Albarn your 15 you obviously have been doing some self attended North Nevada Highschool which you will no longer be attending because you have been bullied for 4 years. In fact our doctor works at the new school you will be attending"

"So you're gonna put in me in a school and I know nothing?" Maka deadpanned.

"You're gonna regain your memories eventually."

"But-" Maka cut off gripping her head in pain.

_'Move bitch! No one wants you around' she was shoved to the ground 'ha! Look at the clumsy little book worm' repeatedly kicked.' yah stay on the ground where you yet, go underground and don't breathe.' She was tired of this life. _

Her eyes fluttered open as she looked up at the nurse staring at her with a sympathetic expression." You'll be experiencing things like that a lot."

She sighed " I honestly don't think I wanna experience that ever again."

Maddi pursed her lips "I'm so sorry baby doll I really wish I could help you."

And at that particular moment the door decided it should swing open revealing a man. With a screw through his head.

Maka couldn't help but stare.

The. Man. Had. A screw. Through. His. Head.

Even if Maka didn't remember much she knew she's seen everything.

"Oh how nice of you to join us Doctor Stein" Maddi chimed sweetly before getting up and leaving.

Dr. Stein nodded and walked over to Maka.

She immediately froze. Stitched up face, an oversized screw through his head and a lab coat.

" Hello Maka I'm Stein, teacher at Shibusen High School and an old friend of your fathers." He was staring right at her turning the over sized screw in his head with a sickening clicking sound. How the hell did that not hurt?

"um h-hi" was all she could manage.

"You ready to go?"

"where to?"

"Does it matter?"

"eh-not really"

"Good. Then ill let you get dressed" he replied reaching behind him and placing a stuffed duffle bag at the foot of the bed then left.

She sighed slight whimpers escaping her lips as she attempted to get out of the bed. Tossing her legs over the bed hurt like hell. There was a brace on her leg._ What happened that made me want to kill myself so much?_

Once she had her legs over the edge of the bed and was sitting up she realized how sore she was. Reaching up and untieing the strings that were loose around her neck the gown fell off and that's when the shock settled in.

Bruises. Cuts. Scars

Every where she looked there wasn't an inch on her that didn't have some kind of injury. Bruises shaped like fists and hand prints. Raised cut marks in multiple areas. Scars like reminders-

_Drip. Drop. Splat. Ruby droplets like polka dots on the pale tiled floor. Razor in hand as her wrists were burning. She grinned manically through the pain gritting her teeth. The burn made her feel real again. Pain was the one thing now she would welcome open arms. Physical pain took away the emotional pain. Razors were her new best friend, her escape._

Gasping and choking she snapped back to reality her wrists stung. Angry scars mocking of what she couldn't clearly remember.

_Why me?_

**Alrighty! Updated yay. And Soul will be coming in within the next few chapters so don't worry kiddos(: but sorry if this chapter is a little short for your liking imma try to make the next one a little longer. And the italics were brief flashbacks. So if you like it review and a huge thank you to TheBlueTARDIS for editing help and ideas you should really go follow her.^-^ and the quote at the top is a Hollywood Undead song called Bullet ... oh and i don't not own souleater i forgot to mention that! AND THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! until next time kiddies! -Ali :3**


	3. Meet The Gang!

_**Read below please!**_

**So there's this new story i'm working on...what do you guys think of some Nalu type stuff?(; Lemme know!^-^ and thank you for 200 views! And a crap load of follows and favorites it means the world to me!(:**

**Disclaimer: I will never own soul eater..*cries in a corner***

**Claimer: I do own the plot and Maddi (;**

**~•°•~**

(Maka's P.O.V)

I ended up wearing a slightly familiar navy blue sweater short blue jean shorts and black Converse. The brace on my newly fractured left leg was a problem but Stein had a solution to everything apparently.

Crutches. Are you kidding me?

There is no way on God's green earth or in hell will I be using those death looking contraptions.

_.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*._

So today I figured out I am pretty much immobilized without crutches.

After falling down 4 halls and half a flight of stairs we made it to the truck. Yay me! Is it possible to forget how to walk when you lose your memory?

What's funny though is I remember some basics like talking and walking but showers, cars, and doors look hard. How am I going to do school soon?

After a lecture from Stein on some general basics of life 101 we made to a mansion. Stein apparently sold my apartment after I woke up in the hospital and was in the current process of looking for a new one for me that's in walking distance of Shibusen. He told me I'd be living with a few students and the principal for the time being.

Do principals always live in mansions?

(Normal P.O.V.)

Stein opened the huge wooden doors and let Maka in first since she was on crutches.

The house was huge black and white checkered floors with a massive, carpeted grand staircase in the middle of the room and a elegant chandelier in the middle of the ceiling

Giving the white walls a hazy glowing appearance.

"Wow" was all Maka could think of saying. Stein simply chuckled at her in amusement.

"Hey, Death you home?" Stein called out

Shuffling was from the top of the stairs along with a few muffled shouts.

"Yeah yeah i'm coming" a man wearing black pants shoes and shirt came down the stairs

"Ah so you weren't kidding when you said you'd bring her here for me to see." He said clearly amused when he saw Maka on crutches.

"You thought I was lying huh?" Stein cocked a gray eyebrow

"Lying sounds harsh. I prefer unbelieving" Death shrugged.

Stein sighed.

"Father who is this?" Said a smooth voice from the top of the stairs stood a tall boy with piercing golden eyes and three odd white stripes in his hair.

"Oh Kid how nice of you to join us! This is Maka Albarn she will be going to your school soon!" Death clapped his hands together excitedly

" Is she the girl you were talking to Stein and Sid on the phone about?" The boy asked with an suspicious yet curious look in his warm golden eyes.

"Ehm yes, I knew you were eves dropping"

"Oh sweet Shinigami." Kid instantly looked panicked racing down the stairs to jump in front of her scowling.

Maka was confused and frozen

He gently pulled her pig tails out and readjusted them for a minute before he straightened her sweater.

"There! Perfect and symmetrical! He cried happily before turning and going out side

Death sweat dropped"but anywho! Come along Maka we need to have some paperwork filled out for you!" He walked to the left and opened a large wooden door gesturing for her to go in.

Trying her best to make her way in on crutches she notices Stein had dissapeared Hmmmm...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Alright Miss Albarn you will be ready to start Shibusen as soon as your all healed up!" Death announced happily.

"Ready to go?" Stein glanced from her to the door clearly being impatient.

"Yep lets go" Maka replied already heading towards the door.

Once outside she spotted Kid talking to some other people.

"See you later Maka" Kid called put to her waving slightly making the other kids turn around.

An obnoxiously loud blue haired but that was constantly yelling 'BOW DOWN TO ME PEASANTS!'. And tall black haired but seemingly quiet girl trying to hush the blue haired idiot. A striking tall woman with Carmel blonde hair looking amused but yet annoyed at the scene. Was standing next to a hyper bright blonde giving a full blown lecture on how they should be bowing down to giraffes. Then off to the side talking to Kid was an interesting boy, white gravity defying hair that stood out in crazy places with eyes red as blood or rubies.

They all turned to look at her with interested expressions.

"Y-yeah see you around Kid..."

"Hi what's your name?!" The bright blonde was magically in her face staring at her waiting for an answer.

" I'm Maka"

"Nice to Maka! I'm Patti! Do you like giraffes?"

"Yeah..."

"Awesome! you should meet my friends over there!"

"Eh okay" Maka replied unsure of how to react to the new girl.

"Come on!" Patti encouraged skipping happily over to the group.

"Hey guys look what i found! Her name is Maka!" Patti jumped up and down excitedly.

"HI THERE PEASANT YOU ARE IN THE PRESNCE OF THE AMAZING BLACK*STAR SO BASK IN MY GODLY GLORY AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Um okay" Maka said nervously did all people do this?

"Black*Star be nice" said the tall dark headed girls she turned and smiled at Maka politely "hi I'm Tsubaki its nice to meet you" she said sweetly.

"Hey im Liz and this is my little sister Patti as you know already" the carmel headed girl added with a flip of her hair.

"And i believe you already know me" Kid grinned at her

Maka returned the smile to all of them.

Kid frowned. "Soul you gonna say something?"

The albino looked up from his phone at her flashing a toothy smirk "Hey beautiful"

Maka blushed knowing it was something good at least.

"So what happened to your leg?" Tsubaki asked.

_Uh oh..._

"I uh-"

"Yo Maka we gotta go!" Stein called standing across the yard leaning on the old red pickup.

"Coming!" She yelled rolling her eyes.

"Nice to meet you guys see ya around" she grinned.

_How bad could life be?_

**TADA! alrighty so i know this was kinda late my tablet was really screwing up (i do all this from it) and i was having severe writers block throughout this sooooo yah Congrads you just met the gang! Sorry for any ooc by the way... lil Soma moment there hey?(; so untill next time kiddies ~Ali(:**


	4. Let's Go To School!

**I'm back you guys! Yay! So eh i've been grounded...for failed attempts at being sneaky bad grades smart mouthing etc...(; started new animes while i was gone though! So uh enjoy i guess^-^ **

**If I owned SoulEater It would still be airing/:**

-Maka's point of view-

So I've learned something today. Stein likes to 'dissect rare creatures' what ever that means.

He told me while i was filling out papers with Death he made a phone call and got me a new apartment.

This should be interesting...

_THISISALINETHISISALINETHISISALINETHISISALINE_

.Huge. maybe i haven't seen many apartments or its the fact i can barely even remember my own name.

As soon as you open the door there is a kitchen to the left with light green walls with yellow trim and black and white checkered tiles .

Tacky.

To the right was a living room with a big red couch facing away from you and facing this big black screen type thingy that looked pretty interesting.

There were two doors on the opposite side of the room between the living room and kitchen that sorta 'V' off. Interesting.

"Here we are!" Stein announced making a wide gesture to all of the room as if he was as proud like he made it himself.

"Not bad considering i have no idea what a normal apartment looks like"

"You'll learn kiddo."

"Will I now?"

"Yes, alright make yourself at home I'll be back to check on you in about half an hour and ill bring some of your old stuff when i drop by so call me if you need me." He said ever so cheerfully while walking out the door which he unnecessarily slammed on the way out.

"I'm guessing he forgot I have no idea how to 'call' him... Oh well i guess i can just try to figure out things myself..."

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Stein came back three hours later instead of half an hour claiming he packed up my entire old apartment and is bringing all my 'shit' here later tomorrow.

"Alrighty your starting Shibusen tomorrow since we can't get you in later for the sake of learning."

"What do I do if someone asks about my leg?"

"You fell down a flight stairs and had a concussion."

"That's nice..."

"Got an idea for a better story?"

"Not really."

"Then go shower and get ready for bed I'll be here at seven to pick you up for school tomorrow." He shrugged as if he didn't have a care in the world while walking out the door and slamming the same door...again.~

The 'life 101' lessons Stein had given me earlier worked i think showers aren't that hard. I ended up just wearing the oversized sweater i wore earlier to bed.

_What is it about life that made me want to kill myself? _

_Father who is this?_

_Do you like giraffes?!_

_Hey beautiful _

_What happened to your leg?_

I rolled out of bed to a loud sound beeping next to my head.

_Whats with all the beeping!?_

Thunk.

_Finally! Ugh what time is he supposed to pick me up?_

6:30 was across the screen in bright yellow words on the beeping machine.

_First day of school today_

_' Miss Albarn can you answer the question on the board please?' _

_'Of course she can she's a total know-it-all-nerd!' _

_'Wait is there even a brain behind that God ugly face?!'_

_'Im surprised her mother even kept her when she was born!'_

_'Oh my! Are those cuts under that ugly sweater?!'_

_'Who knew Albarn was emo!'_

_Laughter..._

_Must...keep...strong..._

Snapping out of my flash back I realized her face and lap was wet. Tears.

No. This was my chance to start over! This life will **not **be like my last one. I won't let it be that way again!

I found a purple suitcase in the living room not long after my momentary weakness breakdown.

Jeans are off the list

Well shorts might not be that bad.

Black ass shorts white t-shirt and one single gray Converse. Not bad.

6:58 what to do with the hair though?

A messy braid works nicely.

Food wouldn't be bad either... Rummaging through this big white box that had a single door on it. The inside of the box was really cold I'm sure Stein called these thing refrigerators. Biscuits. That will work nicely...

_Slam. _Damn you Stein always slamming my door.

_Thisismyprettylittlelineihopeyoulikeit(:_

Stairs. Crutches. This should be fun...

After 9 minutes of tripping and wobbling we finally made it! To the halfway mark in the stairs...

8 minutes later we made it to the top. Damn this school was huge! Big doors, giant candles, even bigger spikes- what was with the spikes?

"Hey Maka!"

I turned around as best as I could on the horrible life ruining sticks under my arms just to meet my new friend with three odd white stripes and golden cat like eyes.

"Oh hi Kid." I smiled at him politely waving slightly.

"Have fun on the stairs?" He smirked.

"Oh sure tons of fun!" I waved off the smirk laughing with him

"Just wondering how I'm going to get home though..." i could feel our friendly smile fading

"Yes that might be a problem... Crap! We are gonna be late!" He spun on his heel looking back one last time before opening the doors.

"Uh, where did Stein go?"

I looked behind myself not noticing his earlier absence "don't know..."

He opened the door and we both quickly walked to our first class.

Professor Sid...cool. Kid swung open the door and stepped back to allow me to 'walk' in on my crutches. Looking around i saw Tsubaki, Black*Star, Patti, and Liz all sitting side by side. And then there was Soul sitting a few rows away... Covered in girls... That made gears in my stomach turn as if I didn't want those girls hanging all over him. Just he sight made me wanna pull him away and hug him forever and possibly murder the other girls.

"Hey lets go sit with my friends." Kid said reaching for my hand probably sensing my discomfort.

"Maka Albarn right? Mind giving a slight introduction for us about yourself?" Professor Sid questioned. All i could do was freeze as Kid dropped his previously reaching out arm as he walked back to his seat between Patti and Tsubaki.

"Uh s-sure" i muttered tripping over my own words as i did the same with my foot trying to get up to the front of the room.

I turned around. Every eye in the room was on me. . What am I doing!? I don't even know half of my life story!

"Uh hi, I'm Maka I was from North Nevada High and i transferred her obviously..." i unbelievably managed to get out not in such a shaky voice like i expected.

"I'm 15 and that's it." I finished shrugging

"What happened to your leg?" A girl with short choppy bubble gum pink hair called out.

"Fell down stairs."

"Wow you must be really clumsy..."

"Kim! We do not insult new students" Sid scolded the pinkling as the rest of the class laughed quietly.

"Alright go take a seat somewhere." Sid waved lazily in the direction of the class.

I sighed so um where do i sit? Motion suddenly caught my attention as Liz was waving me over patting a seat between her and Black*Star.

As i finished settling in my seat an notebook was slid across the long table ( A/N i planned the classroom in my head the way it looks in the anime)

_So you actually followed the story Stein told you to do... -K_

I looked over at him but he was focusing on the notes.

_Yeah was I not supposed to? _

_Thunk. _

A crumpled up peice of paper popped me in the back of the head

_Hey cutie nice ass you showing(; _

Ew that's gross. I looked toward the direction the paper flew from to see Soul. Winking. At me.

Was this a typical highschool?

**Oh yes your so welcome(: Sorry for the ooc to the people that complained but this IS a Soma(; untill next time little readers:* - Ali**


	5. Inner Demon

**MERRY CHRISTMAS KIDDOS! :***

**Chapter inspired by Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon (;**

**Ha! And you guys thought the last chapter they were going to fast! You silly little readers. Its gonna be a while before they get together :3 **

**-IMPORTANT-**

**So I've realized when i upload my chapters not all the words are published and some even get deleted so i will be doing some fixing very soon -same for Misfits- and chapter 1 of Misfits has been published and its view deprived... Go check it (:**

~the higher i get the lower i sink

I can't drown my demons they know how to swim

I'm scared to get close and i hate being alone

I long for that feeling to not feel at all~

The rest of class was very uneventful. Maka unknowingly relearned a couple of new things and about fell asleep in the middle of learning about healthy eating.

The next class was no better because it was the same teacher and same classroom just a different subject. It all somehow seemed familiar to Maka but she just couldn't seem to remember it until Sid finally said that one thing she could never remember. (Don't ya hate when that happens?)The rest of the class mates seemed bored out of their minds yet Maka found this all interesting.

◇◆◇◆time skip to lunch(: ◆◇◆◇

"Hey mind if I sit here?" Maka asked timidly looking at Tsubaki who seemed to be the only one who wasn't completely submersed in the conversation at the lunch table.

"Oh, sure! I was kinda hoping you would sit with us today." She smiled politely.

"Oh, thanks" Maka returned the smile with a certain fakeness Tsubaki noticed briefly but brushed off, it was something she was used to.

"Its no problem" she smiled patting the seat next to her to the left of Kid.

"Oh hey Maka, I'm glad you have decided to join us." He greeted breaking out the conversation before biting into his taco.

"Yeah! Sit here from now on!" Patti chimed in stabbing the fruit tower that was shaped into the formation of a giraffe. Scary...

Liz grimaced watching her sibling be so violent towards food. Maka sighed deeply before realizing the air seemed kind of... off? Looking around she found the source-Soul that son of a bitch. Smoking during lunch with his feet propped up on the edge of the table, lazy grin casted in her direction, cigarette between slightly cracked lips.

"Took you a minute I see" He lazily remarked still grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"Wow, your first non-perverted comment. So proud." She smirked

"I just wanted to see if you were just some easy slut who would fall for me oh, so, easy. But the fact you keep following me around really pushes my assumptions up a bar" he returned the smirk with double her venom.

That shoved her a little far. Slut? Oh, hell no.

"MAKA-CHOP!" she screamed swiping up her tray and burying it into his cranium. It was odd but it felt so familiar in a way if only the tray was just a little bit thicker it would have just felt perfect.

" Owh! What the fuck was that?!" he raged dropping his cigarette into the oblivion of the disgusting cafeteria floor, never to be found again especially with the druggies there, while cradling his albino head.

"I don't know but it makes you shut up so I'm going to start using that technique" she crossed her arms leaning back. Her grin represented the devil himself, poor Soul.

"Hey truth hurts most girls fall for me, i just wanted to see if you were like them, besides I don't even like you like that. I mean look at you flat chested_ skinny, short little thing what are you trying to pass off as? _ _Innocent?_

"Soul! Stop it!" Tsubaki slammed her hand on the table forcefully. "You don't know her! She's probably not like the rest of the sluts here so stop making assumptions!"

Maka was stunned. Some one actually stood up for her for once.

"Agreed Soul, that was a little -hic- much." Black*Star mumbled drowsily sipping periodically on a black tainted cup that looked suspicious. No surprise there.

"She's not crying _she's fine." _

_"_Do you know what shut the fuck up means?" Maka cocked an eyebrow not surprised by his stupidity.

"Sure I do"

"Then do it cause I don't think you can."

"..."

"Forever would be nice..." she mumbled.

"Ahaha ehm, soo Maka what do you think of this school?" Tsubaki broke the awkward moment with her nervous chatter.

"IT'S AMAZING SINCE YOUR GOD IS HERE!" Black Star yelled attempting to stand on the table, soberness slipping away.

"I'm surprised you haven't repelled her yet you moron." The blonde twirled her hair lazily around her finger checking for dead ends.

"Haha stupid BlackStar" Patty giggled highly amused.

"SIT DOWN YOU'RE RUINING THE SYMMETRY OF THE TABLE!" Kid screached

_What a noisy, obnoxious bunch..._

Maka froze. Who was that?

Makas POV

_Who am I? Must you really ask child._

Who is this? I've heard of people having voices in the back of their head but this does'nt seem right...

_Your right there, I could be considered the voice in the back of your mind darling_

"Maka? Your staring." Liz nudged me looking concerned.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay... Hey, you wanna hang with me Patty and Tsu' after this class?"

"Skip school? Uhm sure" I smiled can we even do that? Oh well.

XxTime-SkipxX

"Oh thank God you made it" Liz breathed "I really thought you ditching us to stay in school."

"Nah, I'd never do that" I smiled, like I'd stay in school where I could still be exposed with my secret.

"Let's go, how about some coffee?" Tsubaki offered

"YAS I WANT SOME!" Patty bounced up and down like kangaroo on crack.

Damn, how much energy does that girl have?

We began walking down the street looking at all kinds of things

Then it started to burn.

**Just because im pure evil I shall end here kiddos and yes this is late i apologize ive been really busy.**

**My spell check is missing so im sorry for the errors*-***

**More to come but thanks you to BlackRabbit for the Maka Chop (: TheBlueTARDIS and 'that kid' and many others (:**

**Hey, im on tumblr (:**


	6. A Look Into The Past

A/N: Wow okay hi. I know I haven't written much. Like ever since I started this story but I've been grounded for a long while and just got my laptop back and got some amazing new ideas from lillyRdalton she turned so many gears in my sleepy head so thank you Lilly! I will try to write more chapters on my stories more often if you have any suggestions please PM me those ideas cause they more than likely be used(:

This Chapter was brought to you by: Broken - Seether ft. Amy Lee and She Will Be Love by Maroon 5

**WARNING: review on this chapter or I will curse your dog. If no dog then your squirrel;D**

Aaaaand read!^-^

_It started to burn._

I clutched my head and shut my eyes trying to stop the intense pain. It was if the little voice wasn't just a voice but a thing that was relentlessly drilling hammers into my head and setting me on fire.

"Maka, are you okay?" Tsubaki panicked causing Patti and Liz to turn around.

_No, you're not okay._ I could practically see him smiling his crap eating grin as the burning continued. _You never okay and never have been. You see I remember everything while you are as knowledgeable as a new born baby. I can tell you everything for a price, there's always a price darling~_

"Yeah I'm fine," I stood up smoothly as if nothing ever happened "just one of those really bad headache things." I heard myself laugh nervously and tried to smile. I knew that they could tell I was lying to their face. Nothing new since that's all I've ever really done since I woke up all I can do is lie since I don't even know the truth.

"Are you sure Maka? That did not look like some normal headache." Liz questioned examining her perfect-as-always nails. Did that girl ever stop examining herself for flaws as if she had any?

"Maybe it's just the damage of that falling down those stairs!" Patti shouted gleefully with coffee still on her brain.

"As not nice as that sounds it's probably true maybe you did hit your head a little hard." Tsubaki shrugged with a small smile.

I wish it was. Oh, how I wish it was just a bump to the head and not an obnoxious, torturous voice always dragging me down. Why did I have to live through that fall? Why am I stuck with this life of lies?

"Soo, I'm glad you skipped to go get a pick me up with us." Liz smiled looking up at the building we stopped in front of labeled 'Death-Bucks'. "It's nice to talk to somebody else for a change besides just us we don't really have much to talk about anymore. Ya' know?"

I wish I knew what it was like to have friends I really did.

_You have me. You'll always have me I'll be right here. _He grinned. I felt sick.

After we had our coffee it was around 4:00 I walked home alone it was nice to breathe and have some alone time. I pulled out my head phones and phone and turned on some music I didn't remember what kind of music I normally used to listen to but I did slightly remember the words. She Will Be Loved by Maroon5 played quietly as I continued walking I began to feel cold not as in chilly but an internal cold.

_I don't mind spending everyday_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girl with a broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile._

The coldness was turning into burning.

_I have an offer you might want to consider dear._

_Tap on my window knock on my door _

_I want to make you feel beautiful_

_I know I tend to get so insecure_

_It doesn't matter anymore_

_I'll help you. I'll tell you what you want to hear~_

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_

_It's compromise that moves us along yeah_

_My heart is full, and my doors always open_

_You can come anytime you want, yeah_

I started to run faster no longer fear tripping and falling since I took my cast off my leg yesterday and never put it back on. Good way to strengthen the leg and try to drown out the hellion with my music I didn't work.

_Accept me- for I am a part of you nooww~_ he hissed.

I saw my apartment building and ran even faster. My legs were burning yet numb I was just starting to break sweat as I practically flew up the stairs since the elevator would take too long and burst in my door. Oops, forgot to lock it again, oh well. I lied down on the floor groaning, silence. Perfect.

_I'm still here sweetie. I am you, I'm not going anywhere._

I closed my eyes and sighed. Can't get rid of it? Then learn to deal with it. "What do you want from me?"

_I don't want anything. Well, I do want to make you an offer that I don't think you'll turn down_

"And what's that?"

_How would you like me to tell you your life story?_

"There's a catch. You won't just tell me for free."

He chuckled. _Smart girl, I will tell you one piece of information about you for a price._

"What's the price?" I scowled; this could NOT be good at all. I was sprawled starfish style staring at the ceiling. I slowly rolled over while he was silent for a moment and walked to my room and flopped on the bed taking off my shoes, and pants. I didn't really like pants.

_Those pretty little cuts all over you are cuts you've made yourself I've always been here I've made you feel the need to do that to yourself. I love the pain. And now you do too. _I could feel him smile sadistically. _Those bruises, red marks, and burns other people gave you those. I made you think you deserve their treatment because I loved feeling the pain. You didn't like it when others caused you pain but you loved it when you do it to yourself._

"What do you want from me?"

_One cut per answer, non-shallow that actually brings blood. I live for your pain._

"Absolutely no way in hell"

_Well guess you'll never know what happened to you. You know, how you lost your mother, where your daddy is and what he's doing. What were you like when you were young and-_

"Is that all the price is? Why just bleeding from cuts? Why not part of my lifespan or anything else?"

_I am no god I can't take your life away when I am you I just control how you feel and how you think because I am apart of you if you die I die too._

"How should I know that you know all this, or after I cut you won't tell me, or hell, what if it's all lies?" I frowned

_I want to feel your pain and I want it now. I am going to tell you just do it._

I slowly rose from my bed and walked to the drawer hands trembling I opened the drawer and grabbed the razor. I didn't know why I ever brought it here. Did I really want to do this? Just to hear the truth? What if it wasn't the truth? What if all he says is just lies so he can feel the pain?

I sat down on the floor, back against the bed and took a deep breath. I haven't used the razor since I woke up. I thought I'd never have to use it again, but boy was I wrong. Tears began to well up in my eyes. Did I really have to do this to be able to know about myself, just to know about my parents, about me?

_Shall we begin?_

_One cut, two cuts, three cuts, four_

_Come on darling what's one more?_

_Five cuts, six cuts, seven cuts, eight_

_Oh what a mess this will create _he chanted quietly.

"What happened to my mother?" I questioned tears threatening to fall and I lowered the razor to the inner part of my thigh were there was no cuts. Goodbye shorts.

_Car wreck. _He stated simply_. She wasn't paying attention on the high way caused a pile up you and your dad were in the car also. You were in shock and your dad went into an instant coma. It caused you pain, the same pain that I enjoy, now slice up. _He said flatly.

Tears were falling by this point as I pressed the razor in and pulled it across my thigh I couldn't stop now, I was already started. 'Finish what you started Maka' I scolded myself. The blood beaded up and began to dribble out.

_I love this-this feeling _he sighed happily as he had just experienced the best thing in the world. _I'll tell you anything you'll remember in time what you wanted to know now today. It just one be soon or maybe before you can remember it will be too late._

I froze was he hinting my death? Could he see into the future?

_No you moron. Remember I am part of you I am no god I can only control how you feel. I'm only saying you could die any day now no one knows._

"Where's dad?" I asked quietly tears were pouring.

_He thought it was best if he didn't know if you were dead or alive. So he left. He's a prostitute now. But I don't exactly know where he went._

I moved the razor down an inchpushed down and pulled across my skin letting out a whimper of pain.

_Ooh. That's it~_

"When was the wreck?"

_6 years ago you were 9._

Slice.

"Did I ever have a relationship? Like with a guy? Or maybe a girl I don't know.." I mumbled the last part. I found nothing wrong with girls loving other girls or guys loving other guys **(A/N: I personally love gays and lesbians in person. But chill I'm straight. Homophobes? Go away. No hate here^-^)**

He chuckled _you had boyfriends. None of the ones you had were loyal they all cheated and that's why you felt protective over Soul when you saw him with the other girls. Not that you love him or anything I would know it's an instinct for you to want to pull him away when you see men covered in girls. It reminds you of what you had._

Slice.

_You're very compromisable._

"Why was I bullied?"

_You cried for days at school after the wreck. You were flat chested, and extremely nerdy. You could never stand up for yourself._

Slice.

We continued for almost an hour with the cutting and crying until I physically couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm done are you happy now?"

_I'd prefer more but I don't want us to die_

I looked down at the puddle of blood on the carpet.

"I really want to sleep will you let me?"

_Yeeesss. I am temporarily satisfied._

I quietly climbed up into my bed after wiping the blood off my legs not worrying about the rest on the carpet. I'll get it tomorrow I internally sighed.

I was slowly drifting off to sleep. Why could this just not be like it is?

-Flashback-

Maka and her mother and father were riding down the high way, windows down on a beautiful spring day. Sun was shining, birds singing and the wind was cool on the warm day. They were reasonlessly driving around seeing whatever they found. They were singing and having a great time "Aren't you happy Maka?" her mother turned around and grinned her emerald green orbs met another set just like them Kami's ash blonde hair let loose whipping around in the wind. "Of course mama!" Maka cheered gleefully. Kami smiled and turned attention back to the road still singing she set her hand between her and Spirit's seat as he reached over and held her hand smiling.

"_I love you guys so much"_ Kami smiled

Then it hit. The car went turning and flipped once Maka began screaming out of fear as she looked forward Spirit let go of Kami's hand so she could try to control the wheel. I didn't work the car just kept spinning and rolling so Kami threw her hand back behind her and pressed on Maka's chest so she stayed close to the back of the seat. Maka's head was whipped around violently as she heard the squealing of car tires against the street there was more yelling outside of their own car. The car stopped flipping and landed right side up just to be slammed into by another car. Then it was all in silence.

Maka slowly opened her eyes to see her mother's limp hand in her lap and her neck twisted in an unnatural way she knew her mother was dead just by looking. "Mommy?" Maka questioned with tears in her eyes. No response.

"Mommy!?" Maka screamed. She turned to look at her father. He was quiet with his eyes closed but still breathing.

She looked around the car next to her was missing all its windows the back seat was In her view there was a baby in it car seat it couldn't be more than a year old. His big blue eyes were open but he wasn't breathing His mouth was slightly parted. In the front seat there was a girl about 17. Blood was pouring from her head as it was pressed against the steering wheel. Maka pressed her own head back hearing sirens in the back ground she was aching all over and could not feel either of her legs. She slowly drifted off to sleep.

-End of FlashBack-

**Blistered. Almost bleeding and sore. Guys meet my fingers right now XD I did almost all of this in 3 hours*-* Thanks to lillyRdalton for inspiring me to get off my lazy butt just to get back on it and write XD Buuutttt I was listening to Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee through the cutting part. **

**DISCLAIMER: I own none of the songs or the cutting poem that I found on instagram**

**THANKS FOR READING!:D ILYSM!**


End file.
